At one point or another, I’m sure we’ve all received those Getting To Know Your Friends e-mails. You know, the ones that list about 20 questions that you cut and paste into another e-mail with your answers. Supposedly the questions will answer everything you ever wanted to know about everyone.
I got to thinking about what a tri-specific questionnaire would look like. What would it take to really get to know how other triathletes tick? I’ve come up with some questions and as an added bonus I’ve answered them for myself.
Favorite place to workout and why?
The track – because the track does not lie. You are either fast or not. You either have it or you don’t.
One thing in triathlon that you do better than anyone else:
Eat – I am probably a bit overfed in most races but I think that is key to a good race.
Dumbest thing you’ve read on Slowtwitch in the past week:
Saw it yesterday. Some genius asked “I’m doing the Muncie Endurathon this weekend – what do you think I should eat?”. COME ON! You are doing a half-Ironman is this weekend and you are just thinking of nutrition three days before the event? My suggestion – don’t even go! What a waste!
Last time you ate something from a mylar package?
Last night @ 2:10 into my bike ride; ½ of a Cookies and Cream Power Bar.
Biggest tri-related fear:
Seeing into the water – I like my muddy Midwestern lakes but I am slowly accepting that the ocean in Hawaii not muddy. Or, showing too much cheek on the bike. My swim suit has a habit of creeping up and up.
Something you are secretly thinking about your competition:
Is that all the power you have?
Most frequent pain:
Hamstrings. Nasty little overstretched SOB’s. Always barking after a track workout. Always.
List one sponsor that you wish you had:
Tampax. Think about it – you pay $4 for 40 tampons. That’s 10 cents a plug. Having someone supply that would free up more money for coffee.
Most useful piece of equipment:
The hair rubberbands that I have jimmy-rigged to my headset to hold my gels. I have never lost a gel, so all you that use some fancy box or equipment to hold your stuff in – take that!
Favorite sport, non-tri related?
PBR – pro-bull riding. The roughest, toughest sport on dirt.
One question you could ask a triathlete that would tell you everything you need to know about them?
1 – Ever done team in training?
2 – Regular or decaf?
What is your competition saying about you behind your back?
I didn’t know they had a F12 – 15 age group.
When was the last time you peed in the pool?
I can’t pinpoint a day and time exactly but I will say this - at our pool, if you leave in the middle of your workout, you risk losing your lane to some guy with two noodles and a kickboard that does some semblance of swimming with that apparatus that somehow gets him down the lane and back quicker than you would swimming normally.
One thing you’ll never understand about triathletes:
Those that go from couch to Ironman – and then wonder why they spend the next season injured. Duh. Or, people that wear arm warmers with sleeveless jerseys. Explain that? Are your elbows cold?
One thing at a triathlon that really chaps your hide:
People that bring buckets into the transition area. Come on – a bucket?
What is hands-down your all time favorite race?
HFP’s former Mohican Pineman ½ Ironman held in the Mohican Valley region of Ohio. The most beautiful, hilly bike course I have ever seen. BRING IT BACK!
Best feeling in a race:
Passing people on the run.
I guess there’s just something about Muncie. I was about 52 miles into the bike and completely spaced out, got too close to a man, rubber wheels and sent us both tumbling down. I got back up, shook him off my bike, and the poor guy was still on the ground. But I was fast chasing 3rd place so I thought ‘gotta go!’ Did the 13.1 run with half the pavement embedded in my knee and hand.
Worst feeling in a race:
Hmm…..not having your equipment show up?
Favorite post-race food:
I can tell you one thing – it is not bagels, oranges, or bananas. I want a fully loaded ice cream bar at the finish line. Or how about a coffee stand? Or a blizzard machine. Blizzards for everyone. Now that’s worth racing for!
Biggest tri-dumb ass attack?
Muncie Endurathon 2003. Got my timing chip mixed up with Chris’ – so he raced as me and me as him. Not a good thing at a national championship. Timing officials didn’t really see the humor in it. But I did.
Worst race you’ve ever done?
Any race that requires you to board a bus to get to a starting point or ending point or anywhere in between.
Scariest thing you’ve been chased by when training?
Happened last weekend in Kansas City on a rural road. I was approaching a house and I noticed a dog at the edge of the road, growling and snarling. Surely they wouldn’t be dumb enough to run into the road to chase me, I thought. Scratch that – it was dumb and it brought along it’s dumber dog friend that also chased me. I bolted like mad and afterwards realized my Power Tap said I had pushed out 460 watts to make that escape.
One piece of your equipment that you would never wish upon someone else:
My cycling shoes – they are so old and smell so foul. Really, if you find yourself alone with my cycling shoes, just lay down, play dead and pray that they will leave you alone – do not fight back.