Tuesday, August 01, 2006

A Spoonful of Sugar

This is my favorite time – post-race recovery time. A few days of light workouts, high energy, and the appetite of a growing ape.

With my last sugar meltdown back in June, it’s been some time since I’ve fallen off the wagon. And let me tell you that these past 4 days, I’ve fallen so far that I think the wagon lost a wheel.

There’s nothing more entertaining than sharing a sugar meltdown with other athletes. With the company of my husband, Kirsten, and Anne the four of us set out to eat our own weight in snacks and treaties post-race this past weekend.

After the race, we hunted down some good old Newfoundland Fish n’ Chips. It was the tastiest beer battered cod I’ve ever had. I don’t normally eat French fries, but today I took the extra time to not only eat, but to salt, pepper, and bathe them in half a bottle of ketchup. We also had fried cheese sticks. Wait, let me say that again – I ate fried cheese. Somewhere a part of me just died.

After a short walk-it-off walk, we decided that ice cream would be in order. Super – throw more dairy into this mega monstrosity of fried madness settling into my stomach. The night before, we had stood in the grocery store frozen section studying the assorted ice cream flavors and narrowing it down to three; Udderly Divine, Hoof Prints, or Brownie Delight. During the second run of the race, I saw Kirsten coming the other way and I had the urge to shout something about our ice cream flavor selection but the only flavor’s name I could remember I thought had something to do with a cow and the only thing that came to my mind was Bovine Delight and I felt that shouting the word bovine during a race might start a strange rumor about an American shouting livestock terms at competitors. Post-race, we finally settled on Hoof Prints. Then Kirsten and I hiked our way through half the bucket while Chris ate half of a blueberry pie.

Giving in to those gigantic candy bars in the store, I also ate a Cadbury Peanut Butter bar, scraping the peanut butter out of each square, and Kirsten enjoyed a Cadbury caramel bar.

The next morning, I had some Special K with bananas. I was off to a great start. And when I ran out of Special K, about 3 bowls later, I found that floating chocolate Teddy Grahams in soy milk also makes a fabulous breakfast. Not such a great start. After that, I finished the rest of the Hoof Prints and watched Anne polish off the other half of the blueberry pie. Then I didn’t feel so good and passed out for a nap.

About three hours later, I ate some pasta with parmesan cheese. I don’t know if it was lunch, a snack, or yet another extension of a very bizarre and caloric breakfast.

At the awards dinner, I piled up over 3 plates of food that I had tried from the buffet line – chicken, rice, salmon, lasagna, salad. Across from me, Anne had lined up 3 plates of desserts. Chris sent me back for lasagna twice. And then came my turn for dessert and I indulged in everything chocolate, toffee, sugary and sweet.

Returning to Chicago, we stopped in Montreal for an early morning layover. A green and white sign with a woman beckoned to me in the airport. It was Starbucks and I finally returned to a land that takes their coffee seriously. I order a Toffee Nut Americano and to my dismay it is not sugary or sweet enough. They’ve gone easy on the Toffee Nut syrup and they have no Splenda in sight offering me no relief for my artificial super sweet fix.

In protest, I eat an entire bag of mixed nuts.

At home, I make wheat pasta with vegetables because I feel guilty that I have not eaten anything green or fibrous lately. Afterwards, I visit Chris’ grandma and she insists I take 5 toffee turtle brownies back home. I eat 3 in the car. I find out later that each one has 230 calories and 14 grams of fat. I’m way over my limit today and expect the siren to go off any second, shouting ‘warning, warning, warning, we have reached maximum sugar capacity for the summer, all systems will now shut down.’

Dinner is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich which is mostly peanut butter and very little bread. And the jelly tastes just as good off the spoon as it did on the bread.

The next day I was determined to stay on track. But I got badly derailed when my co-worker gave me a bag of gummy frogs. That led to one bad case of gummy tummy by 11 am. After lunch, I returned to find another co-worker ready to celebrate my birthday with some coffee ice cream. Since it is against my religion to refuse coffee, in any form, I had to give in.

I sat at home later that evening and said enough was enough – it was time to recommit myself to a life of sugar celibacy. I baptized myself with a tall, cold glass of skim milk to wipe the sugary slate clean and stopped to say goodbye. Goodbye peanut butter, goodbye ice cream, goodbye chocolate and brownies and cheese, goodbye sugary desserts, beer-battered cuisine, and fried cheese. Goodbye cupcakes and lemonade.

Tomorrow, I vow to return to a normal diet and leave these days of debauchery and over-indulgence behind – for the sake of weight, training, and my colon. And I think it’s going to be awhile before I see my fatty friends again. After recovering, I’ll be building up towards Pigman, then Long Course Nationals, and finally Hawaii.

So it might be autumn before I roll out the old wagon again. But by that time, all of my favorite fall treats will be right on hand – candy corn, caramel, pumpkin pie, apple cider, chocolate filled Halloween goodies. I can hardly wait!

1 comment:

Mira Lelovic said...

I love it! All the gory details and to know that you're just like the rest of us middle-of-the-packers, but with a lot more discipline!