Friday, November 10, 2006

Crazy Eight-ies

You know you're a child of the 80's if........

You can name more than one item that you owned in neon.

Cultural diversity meant listening to Paul McCartney and Michael Jackon sing Ebony & Ivory.

You can French roll your pants.

You wore gloves with the fingertips cut off because Madonna did.

Two words – Velcro KangaROOS.

You felt dirty for watching Madonna sing Like A Virgin on the MTV music awards.

You played M.A.S.H. and almost cried when it turned out that you ended up with the nerdy boy, and you lived in a box and your transportation was a shopping cart.

At some point, you tucked your stonewashed jeans into your thick cotton socks – because it was cool.

You still feel ashamed that you know the lyrics to, “Boom, boom, boom let’s go back to my room so we can do it all night and you can make me feel right.”

You have seen more than one episode of Gimme A Break, Silver Spoons, Webster, Who’s the Boss, Soap, DeGrassi Junior High, Diff’rent Strokes, Three’s Company, Three’s A Crowd, One Day At a Time, The Jefferson’s, WKRP in Cinncinnati, Mama’s Family, Small Wonder, or Square Pegs.

My name (Elizabeth) reminds you of Redd Foxx.

Two more words – Wonderwoman UnderROOS.

You played the original Atari version of Frogger.

You sported a feathered haircut.

You felt bad for John Cusack because he only got a pen.

You learned the alphabet using the Letter People even though Mr. H and his Horrible Hair scared you.

More than once you found yourself attracted to Alex P. Keaton.

You signed a note with B.F.F.

You first lesson on reptiles was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

You had a friend that had a haircut that was at one length on one side and longer on the other.

Your dad wore really short shorts with a polo shirt that had an alligator logo.

There was no shame; you got down to Ice Ice Baby.

You owned a shirt that said Au Coton.

Not before you owned a buttoned shirt from Forenza.

You’ve seen The Goonies more than ten times.

Your bangs stood higher than 3 inches.

You absolutely had to know who killed Laura Palmer.

Once a week, you watched a kid on television get slimed by green goop.

Admit it, you wanted parachute pants.

867-5309 was Jenny’s number.

You could identify Remington Steele, Magnum P.I. and Quincy, M.D.

Your first cassette tape was Guns n’ Roses Appetite for Destruction which you listened to until the tape broke.

You know the smell of Aqua Net, the feel of DEP.

You can name all 5 of the New Kids On The Block.

You fell in love with cowboys after watching Dallas.

You remember what Flavor Flav wore around his neck.

When you walk through a row of lockers, you expect a locker door to fling open and a kid pop out who says, “Hey Allister?”

You remember when they introduced nutrition labels – and the first time you realized holy sh*%! candy bars really are bad for you.

You expected B.A. Baracus to jump out of every black van that drove by.

The artist formerly known as actually had a name.

You’ve seen Eddie Murphy stick a banana in a tailgate.

You could name all of the Corey’s.

You could save your own life with a paperclip, pocketknife, and a woodchip just like McGuyver.

You thought people that listened to Depeche Mode were the freaks.

You owned one of the following: a My Little Pony, Glowworm, a Pound Puppy, Optimus Prime from the Transformers, HeMan/SheRah or Skeletor, the Ewok Village, or the G.I.Joe Hovercraft.

You had pictures from Teen Beat taped on the back of your door.

Something in your closet said OP.

You’ve seen the Tom & Jerry where they flood the kitchen and use the jello mold for colored lighting while skating.

You’ve also seen the one where Tom plays the bass while serenading the girl cat with “Is You Is Or Is You Ain’t My Baby?”

You’ve gotten a perm – more than once.

You can describe a color as smurfy-blue.

You felt that for sure you and your brother could kick ass on Double Dare.

You’ve read more than one Sweet Valley High book.

You remember watching Thirty Something and thinking those people are really old.

You remember when Gumby came back into style.

You thought the CHiPs guys were smokin' hot. And still do.

You wouldn't be surprised if you found Pee Wee Herman on the neighborhood registered sex offender list.

The first girl bands were Jem & The Holograms and Josie & The Pussycats.

You couldn’t wear Guess Jeans because you were totally not cool enough.

Watching Kevin and Winnie have their first kiss on Wonder Years almost made you cry.

Against your better judement, you put Shrinky Dinks in the oven.

You remember Soleil Moon Frye before the big boobs.

Little did you know that Strawberry Shortcake would be your first experience with inhalants.

You threw a Rubik's Cube across the room in disgust.

A Gopher was something you'd find on a cruise ship and not in the ground.

You had to take square dancing in gym class.

You envied me because I owned the Barbie Dream House.

You stopped liking the Smurfs when the Snorks came along.

You pull out a "Kiss My Grits!" from time to time.

You remember when Thriller swept the nation.

Your mom threw a punch, dodged a falling shelf, and ripped a box out of a child’s hand to buy you a Cabbage Patch Kid.

You curled your hair in the morning with a clicker.

You're still trying to figure out how to include "Hey, hey, hey" into daily conversation.

You spent more than one afternoon shouting “Punch It Chewy” while playing with your Millenium Falcon.

You still sing along to Wham when you hear them on the radio.

You watched Hot Fudge on Saturday mornings and got down with Seymour the puppet.

On more than one occasion, you have shouted Thundercats, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO at the top of your lungs.

You had a sneaky feeling that the Care Bears could only be understood under the influence of powerful drugs.

You own at least 3 years of school pictures that you have shredded or completely hidden from public view.

Jelly was not a spread, it was something you wore on your wrist or feet.

The guy that wore the U2 pin on his jean jacket was way too cool for you.

You wore braces for more than 4 years.

You remember when Harrison Ford was still hot.

You looked into a hole in your wall expecting to see Fraggles.

You can still name at least one kid that had to wear headgear to school.

You had nightmares about the Muppet that threw the fish.

You turned up the collar on your shirt, because it was cool.

You found Rainbow Brite friendly but freaky.

3 comments:

triteacher said...

OK, so how many do I have to check on the list before I HAVE to confess to being an 80s child? And I'm still wondering who killed Laura Palmer...

Alicia said...

I laughed at about half of these, but I have to admit I am definitely not cool enough to know some...

Elizabeth Fedofsky said...

It was the Bob, who was really Laura Palmer's dad. And I think he killed her by means of midget and creamed corn. Or was it the Log Lady? Either way, damn good coffee out that way. And good pie.