Wednesday, September 26, 2007

You've Been Referred

One of the more interesting pieces of information that Site Meter provides is how people arrive at my website; “referrals” if you will.

Let’s say someone types my name into Google – that’s a referral. Or, someone types in “Ironman” and one of my posts contains the word “Ironman” (imagine that) and my site comes up. They click on my site and they have been referred.

At least 10 times a day, someone is referred to my site this way. By some random mixing of their request and words in my archives. What surprises me is that 10 people actually click on my site and spend time here.

Just for fun, I started keeping track of some of the more entertaining ways people were referred to me. Understand that these are phrases that people actually typed into Google and then clicked their way to me.

“Captain Morgan is sitting in a bar and I asked him how he got the peg leg”
So it is common knowledge that Captain Morgan is a fictitious character that lives on the label of a bottle of rum, right?

“Names of people who do not like pizza”
Oh no. They’re looking for us? Does someone keep track of this? Will they gather us all in a giant room and force feed us super cheesy pizza?

“Who said a death sentence on 12 systems in star wars”
The guy in the bar talking to Luke. Next!

"Desiree ficker" topless”
Sicko.

“Paula Newby poop”
And It just got sicker.

“Leashed wives”
Obviously a typo. Should have read “leashed husbands”. And a short leash at that.

“Best place to put body glide triathlon”
That depends. How long is the race? The longer the race the more interesting the places you can put it.

“Red sores on crotch”
Crabs? Herpes? Certainly has nothing to do with your bike if that’s the answer you’re looking for on my blog.


“Small boob blog iowa”
I’m sorry – living in iowa AND small boobs. Could it get worse? Wait, yes, how about small boobs, living in Iowa and having red sores on your crotch.

“Sore feet on bike”
You’re training for Ironman too, eh?

“Something desire clown close like body”
There are very few times I am speechless in life. This would be one of them.

“Hanging banana display”
So many ways this is wrong, so little time to tell you about them.

“Piriformis pain crotch”
Too bad your piriformis is in your ass.

“Grandma naked in the shower”
I need a pervert filter on this blog.

“What to do swimming in tangled milfoil”
If you are smart enough to know what milfoil is you are smart enough to find your way out.

“Saddle sores and bactroban”
Best way to cure saddle sores is with Bactroban, I agree.

“She is told she snores”
He who told you this lies.

“How many water bottles for Ironman”
How many can you carry?

“Tampax pearl prices”
I’ve always thought Tampax would be a great sponsor for me to plug (insert bass drum, snare, cymbal crash please)

“How to see numbers in a dream”
More importantly, how to determine what they mean if they are in your dream.

“Man on short leash”
NOW we’re talking. Man on short leash is long way from trouble.

“Divorce and Ironman”
Love and marriage, divorce and Ironman.

“When a bicycle stands it will fall but during riding it will not, why?”
Seriously?

“Hawi lap dance pic”
I’m impressed. How the heck did you find room to fit a stripper in your special needs bag? I could barely fit 3 water bottles.

“Manspeak”
Language that husband speaks.

“Sissy husband blog”
That’s just hilarious. Oddly enough, I get this referral at least 3 times a week. Men out there, I’d be worried. There’s an underground cult of wives calling you sissies.

“I smell like peanut butter”
I would probably stay away from me and a spoon then, especially after Ironman.

“Conversations with myself in my head”

That’s when you know you need to start a blog.

“What happens when engineers disappear”
Well, when you broadcast it on a blog you incriminate yourself.

“Smelly armpit forum”
I swear to god – one season with a smelly armpit and you’re marked forever.

6 comments:

~Robyn~ said...

This was one of the funniest things I have read in a LONG TIME!!! Thank you for a good morning laugh!

P.S. I"m Courtney's teammate :)

Robyn

Andra Sue said...

Oh my. I get some weird ones...but not THAT weird. And don't forget--this post just reinforced that such crazies will keep getting directed to your blog!!! Lock your doors, chica.

Diane said...

I referred you from my blog - hope that's cool. I had to share your lyrics for Bringing Healthy Back with my teammates. Too funny!

Brenda O said...

ROTFLOL!!!!
OMG!!!
I am at the design studio, (thank god, because I would probably get kicked out of my client'so ffice for laughing this loud) TOO FUNNY!
I never type anythign that good into search engines. I am so lame, But I ask questions like this all the time to strangers.... what's worse? ;-)

Josh said...

Yep, you got another referral.

I came looking for IM packing lists ('ironman bike "special needs" list'), as I'm packing up to leave for my first IM on Tuesday. I'm a lucky lottery winner, with true Kona panic, and your well written list really helped.

-Josh

Alicia Parr said...

You realize what I've done now, right? I've gone and plugged some of these in to Google to see what would come up. Which just makes it all worse.

Oh. BTW. Found this cool site: http://geeksofdoom.com/2007/05/24/30-star-wars-quotes/

My fav: “Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?”