Monday, October 01, 2007

Oh Boy Am I Sexy

I just found out I’m “Boyish Sexy.”

I blame “B” and “The Goddess”- I took a lot at their sites and noticed a link tempting me to find out what kind of sexy I am. Of course B is Bad Girl Sexy and The Goddess is Glam Sexy. That didn’t leave me much hope. I mean, there’s not much that says Oozing with Bad Girl Glam Sexy when you take a look at me. Unless you find goggle marks, road rash scars, and calluses sexy. Did I mention the bunions?

But what kind of sexy am I? You know this is something pressing on my mind – just what kind of sexy do you call a thing like me, if at all? I answered a series of five of the most complicated questions ever (worse than the GRE) to find out that I am……..

Boyish Sexy.


This can’t be good. I mean, what kind of girl wants to be boyish sexy? Can you even put those words in the same sentence? Does one not cancel the other one out?

Of course I’m wondering what boyish sexy means. Because all they asked me was what I slept in (have you seen my moose pants?), what tv character on Sex in the City best describes me (none thank you), and what movie I would pop in on my third date (Mr. Deeds of course). Hardly enough information to determine if one is sexy or not.

Alas, by way of some complex mathematical equation, they summed from all of those questions that I am about as sexy as a boy.

Gee thanks.

I had to look further into this. Good thing it came with an explanation. Here is what it means to be boyish sexy:

You're the kind of girl who gets along with all the boys

Whether it's holding your own in a game of touch football...

Or kicking some major butt while playing Xbox.

You hang with the guys easily, while still keeping your girly sexiness.

Huh? Explain to me what is sexy about that? I’ve never even played Xbox. I only know that it is something that keeps my husband submerged underground for hours on end. Years ago I was the girl to beat in Street Fighter. I could whip kick Chun Li’s legs with my ten fingers on the buttons like nobody’s business. But that was Sega, only a step above Atari and nowhere near as cool as Xbox of today.

And football? Next. Never played it, never even watched it. Don’t get what all the lines are for, and why they have to tackle each other anyways. Can’t we all just get along? And just what is touch football? Is that code for something that only someone boyishly sexy would do in the bedroom? (somewhere my mom is barfing right now)

Sigh. I guess it is not meant to be. I will never be glam sexy. I will never be bad girl sexy. I will never work in Vegas under the code name of Sparkles. I will never get the chance to bring sexy back because apparently it never lived here in the first place. I’m just a girl who’s really like a boy.

My poor husband. I wonder if he knows?

Wait a minute…husband? Oh, husband……here, I have a little test for you…..

Because I found this test so utterly accurate, I decided to run it on my husband. For validity’s sake. I asked him all of the questions while trying to get him to think “if you were a girl…..”

That didn’t go too well. “Liz, how come all of these questions sound like they are for girls?” SSSHHHH! Don’t question the questions. You just take the test. Trust the test. Give me an answer. ANSWER!

Of course I had to rephrase the questions, and then explain to him why I thought of all the tv characters he was most like Rachel from Friends (really, he is and yes for some questions it was just easier for me to answer for him than to explain the question for the 100th time). And then after more complex calculations, the site generated my husband’s result…………..

And wouldn’t you know that he too is Boyish Sexy? Now makes a lot of sense – because he is a boy. But in my case – not the case.

So, I guess the one good thing that came from this test is finding out more about me and husband. Because I like boys and he likes boyishly sexy women. So there you go. Once again proving we are a match made in heaven.

Anyways, if you’re interested in finding out what kind of sexy you are, here you go:


Amy Beth Kloner said...

OK so you're boy sexy and I'm FUN SEXY?? Doesn't exactly sound too sultry and irresistible. Just makes me seem like a great date for Chuck E Cheese!!
"You're funny, quirky, cute, and sassy. Guys always have a great time with you, and that alone is sexy.You've got an upbeat, optimistic spirit that totally shines through. Any guy would be crazy to turn you down!"

Anonymous said...

What a surprise...I am "boyish sexy" too. I am in shock. NOT!

Ivonne said...

I cannot help it that I am GLAM SEXY! I am who I am. I get manicures and wear sparkly things. On the other hand, my athleticism peaks out at learning the choreography from a Britney Spears video, and I only run in heels. The bottom line is that you could kick my ass, and if you ask me, that's pretty sexy.

moonpie said...

If both you AND your husband are Boyish sexy...


Brenda O said...

Ok, once again, I was amused by your blog until I get to the part "I asked him all the questions while trying to get him to think "if you were a girl...." then it was LOL! in my cube... here at my client's office. too funny.

Keep up the great work.
B "Bad Girl Sexy"
"Girl, you are nothing but trouble. And that's hot. You've got the classic bad girl sexiness mojo going on. And your badass attitude makes men fear you - and crave you. Don't give into people who say to tone it down. You're perfect as is."

Bob Mitera said...

I'm "fun sexy" but I imagined that men = women for these questions. Oh...that sounds bad on several levels.

Bob Mitera said...

I'm "fun sexy". I answered switching the men in the questions to women. Oh...that sounds bad on several levels