Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Mr. Nibs

I thought you might be wondering about my dog.

Probably not but seeing this is the week of me talking about the best of the dumbest decisions I have ever made, here goes.

Boss. Oh Boss. For something so small he is full of life. And love. And kibble, steaming piles of log, mischief, energy, and what am I missing………NRB’s. That’s for the Ragbrai crew to laugh about. The rest of you just take my word.

Boss loves to eat kibble. He didn’t like his first bag of kibble. I suppose lamb and rice isn’t good enough for him. We switched and he seems to like the new brand better but still eats on the fly.

Boss has a new trick. It’s called hide under the couch and growl. This is especially fun when we are (a) in a hurry, (b) trying to leash him to go outside, or (c) sure he is ready to drop a steaming pile of log.

Other odd things that Boss likes to do – go behind the curtains on the patio door. We are not sure why. It’s a sheer curtain and he sits behind it and looks out at us. It might be his way of thinking nasty things about us without looking us directly in the eye. But I’m convinced Boss has discovered some kind of Narnia behind that curtain that only he can visit.

Boss has taken on several code names. You can’t look like Boss or behave like Boss without getting a code name. He responds to none of them, even Boss, which makes it all the more fun. We call him Little Man, Puppy, Mr. Nibs, or Nibs for short.

If Boss could talk I’m not sure what he would say. You know how sometimes you put yourself in your dog’s paws and think of what they would say? And then you hear your dog’s “voice” in your head? Has anyone else done this? Or just proof of girl gone crazy? Anyways, I have not yet heard Boss’ voice. I have tried and tried but nothing comes yet. But I want to know what he says. I want to share his thoughts with the world. I want to be his Dog Whisperer.

Boss is obsessed with pulling tufts of carpet out of the living room floor. I wasn’t kidding when I said I wanted all wood floors. But this is not what I had in mind.

When I dump out Boss’ bed, I find a stash of things he has found. Most frequent finding other than tufts of carpet – zip ties. The other day he was in the basement and sure enough found a zip tie. When I brought him upstairs, Chris said “don’t forget his zip tie.” We’ve got fifty dollars worth of squeaky pigs, strings, and dog toys. But do not forget his 10 cent zip tie.

Boss does not like taking a bath. Apparently he and Chris have a deal that when he gets a bath he gets dried with a towel that was pre-warmed in the dryer. If there is a sign-up sheet for this service would someone please add my name.

The green rug by the patio door – Boss thinks we have laid that out just for him to take an indoor dump. In case he doesn’t feel like getting his paws wet or cold. And if we aren’t quick enough to clean it up – he takes that as his cue to snack on it.

But the lamb and rice kibbles? Oh no.

I believe Boss, working under the alias Mr. Nibs, is part of some covert operation that involves shoelaces. He carries them all over the house and hides with them in the most secret of places. Right now he is in his Sherpa Bag with a shoelace. Before that he was in his crate. This is very serious puppy work.

Boss is capable of the 1 - 2 punch. He leaves a little log outside just to come into the house minutes later to go again. We are not sure why this happens or how so much can fit into one little dog. We believe it is a control issue where Boss reminds us, so smellily, that he maybe be little and maybe be wearing the leash but he is still large in charge of our house.

Yesterday Chris came home and said “all Boss does is sleep all day.” News flash – he’s a dog. What did you expect? That Boss would write a novel? This is what I love best about Boss – he is all about the basics in life – eat, sleep, poo, play, and occasionally humping a white t-shirt. The good things.

Boss reminds me to stay focused on the simple things. He reminds me there are other things in life than me. There are other needs more important than mine. There are things – though small – that need my time and love. Boss
is probably the best dumbest decision I ever made.

6 comments:

~Robyn~ said...

Have you seen the commercial with maria sharapova and her dog? And he talks in a sort of spanish accent? That's definitely my dog. And he does all the same things as Boss. Poos on my bathroom rug, but only the rug, hiding under the bed, especially when he has something he shouldn't, and he's also the best dumbest decision I've ever made! Sounds like Junior and Boss would get along GREAT! haha.

Mallie said...

You're not alone. Our dog and our cats each have their own voice. Funnily enough, our friends don't find it as funny as we do. What gives?

And all of our beasties have extra and extended names. They don't respond much to any of them. They listen for tone, I think, to see wheteher or not they're in trouble.

Bri Gaal said...

Don't worry, our dog has her own blog. Now you are not so crazy...
www.martygaal.com/tassie.html

Marit Chrislock-Lauterbach said...

Brilliant! Very thoughtful. We can all relate - thanks for a great blog.

Anonymous said...

Relate, Marit? I can not relate!! I think I am the ONLY ONE in this world w/o any pets. Ok, my parents & sister...must be a genetic disorder. JenH.

triclancy said...

Reading about Boss renews my love for my old dog. I remember the puppy stage all too well. My dog, however is at the opposite end of the size spectrum as he is a Great Dane. I often ponder if I should have a dog like Boss just so I can freak people out when I walk them! Enjoy your puppy....the love you feel for him comes through loud and clear with each and every blog!