Friday, December 21, 2007

New Hire

I’ve gotten a request for another update of my dog. I will protect the identity of the person that requested but let’s just say I hear y’all and I don’t blame you. He is a very entertaining dog.

On Thursday, Boss had career shadow day. He went to work with Chris to find out just what an accounting consultant does all day long. Apparently they all canoodle together in an office with their dogs while eating things like pineapple upside down cake, fried chicken and dim sum. Three things I hope to never have to eat together or say in a sentence together again.

But accounting consulting is hard work – especially during holiday time. Especially when it is bring your dog to work day. Which means the normally quiet office filled with those who dream in numbers, add numbers, and talk numbers all day long was filled with the little yips and barks of count ‘em (possibly the only counting they did all day long) ... 6 dogs.

Boss, Chewie, IChi, Skipper, Peanut, and Piccolino. As you can imagine, these are all dogs that collectively weigh as much as most dog’s left rear paw. Maltese, Yorkie, Bichon, and Chihuahua. All of the best dog but not really dog breeds.

I’m not sure what happened all day because I wasn’t there. All that I do know is around noon I got a very suspicious picture of Boss wearing some other dog’s shirt. I guess this is also what accounting consultants do for holiday fun – they dress up their dog in other dog’s clothes and send photos to everyone else.

Off the record, Boss came home smelling like stripper. Not that I would know but you spend enough time on Ragbrai and you just hear about these things. His fur reeked of a strange combination of women’s perfumes, hand sweat, and fried chicken that didn’t mix very well. I’m wondering if the office party included a show from one of Big Earl’s Girls but I learn that they just brought in fried chicken and that he just kept getting passed from lap to lap.

I understand that Boss and Piccolino made good friends. What did they do, I asked Chris. They sniffed each other a lot, he said. I guess that is dogspeak for hello will you be my friend. And good friends they were but I suspect little dogs band together in unity no matter what.

After work, Boss had to go to the vet. He got his rabies shot. When he finally returned home after nearly a 12 hour day, he was beat. Merely the shell of a dog that just wanted to cuddle in his crate. I was sitting at the kitchen table when I heard something from his way. It was a gurgling, a squeak, it was Boss. Something was going on in his stomach.

I went downstairs. “What did Boss eat today?” I asked Chris.

“You don’t want to know.”

Actually, I do. Because from the sound of it, in less than 5 minutes that stomach is going to explode in a mess somewhere in this house and I’d like to at least be prepared.

So I got closer to Boss. Closer. Gurgle, gurgle. Wait, what? Forget the gurgle. What the heck is he wearing? He was initially covered under blankets in his crate and I didn’t realize he had a new shirt. I looked closer.

Well I’ll be damned. That dog is wearing a shirt that costs more money than my entire outfit. Know why? He was wearing a Juicy Couture shirt. I kid you not. A shirt that cost almost 40 dollars. On my dog. In a dog size. That says Dog School Dropout.

Where does a little dog get this kind of shirt?

His grandmother in law. Apparently she came into the office with this new shirt, dressed Boss and then he ran around like a bad ass humping Piccolino for the rest of the day.

Poor Piccolino. He’s a boy.

Boss did not get much work done at the office. Wow, someone should put him in charge, eh? I’m just kidding. But I’m not sure accounting is the right field for him. He didn’t do anything with numbers or addition or calculating unless you consider his calculating behavior when while maximizing the most lap time of any of the dogs.


Chris got many compliments that Boss is very well socialized. Well, we do try. He has puppy playgroup with Chewie and IChi and soon he will attend puppy play time in Downers Grove. He will learn to love and play with other dogs – because he’s a lover not a hater and will change the world one lap at a time.

3 comments:

~Robyn~ said...

hmm I feel as though that's a direct shot at KENTUCKY...but maybe not........ ;)

Kerri Robbins said...

Do you have one of those fancy dog purses for Boss to be carried in? A Channel one would fit the Juicy outfit. What the heck is dim sum?

Catherine said...

OMFG! too funny.