Monday, March 03, 2008

Camp HTFU Highlights

Best introductory quote: Marit; in the restaurant on Thursday night, “you guys really do exist.”

Not the best timed warning: Marit shouting ROOT while running behind Ashley & Liz

It’s on: Marit admitting to racing Liz in the pool and Liz admitting to racing Marit in the pool.

Will work for M&Ms: Tie; Jen & Marit; first Marit is observed crunching something before exiting the van, Liz says “what are you eating” and Marit says “An M&M I found in the seat.” OR Jen finds a random peanut M&M on the back seat of the van on Sunday morning, says "is that a peanut M&M?", then eats it.

Most likely to be found talking to herself during a trail run: Marit telling herself to shut up while running with Ashley and Liz.

Best recap from non-attending blogger: Ness, “they lost the H’s from their suits and have just been called The F*ck Ups instead”.

Miss Manners: Stopping in the mountains, Liz pulls a baggie of peanut M&M’s out of her pocket to give to Jen who immediately takes them, pops half the bag in her mouth then laughs with mouth open & all Liz sees is a mouthful of chewed up peanut M&M’s.

Miss Manners strikes again: Jen eating grits off her pants at Waffle House

And you thought 25 no breath was bad: Ashley suggests we alternate 25 no breath with 25 swim for 100 and everyone cries out NO! Then Liz says let’s do 8 dolphin kicks no breath off each wall, Ashley says “way to go you found a way to make it even worse.”


HTFU, Girls: Matt climbing most of the day in his big ring.

Most valuable Sherpa: Dustan

Getting buzzed redneck style: When a pick up truck filled with old car tires almost clipped us and Ashley said "welcome to South Carolina."

It’s all fun & games until someone gets hurt: Everyone admitting the funniest moment of the weekend was when Jen crashed on the trail, though not so funny if she had actually gotten hurt.

Most likely to be seen running down a trail wearing a helmet: Jen, and if you want to go faster make it an aero helmet

When elves get mad: Liz shouting F*CK YOU at her gears before bridging the gap to Marit & Dustan.

These girls ain't from around here: Walking our bikes back from the bike store, Jen noticing that some people in Greenville walk their children, whereas people like us walk our bikes

Best way to pretend you are not attempting to illegally enter a gated community: Liz, pulling over to the side of the road, dismounting her bike and spinning the rear wheel while shouting MECHANICAL as one of the members of the gated community drives through the gate.

Four words that you want to hear when riding in the foothills of the Carolinas: “It’s on a chain.”

Things you might put Christmas lights on if you’re a redneck: Lawn junk

It’s not me, it’s you: Liz & Ashley riding in the back sharing snarky comments when Liz says “Ashley, I don’t think we can train together.”

One for the records: Driving to the pool on Sunday when Jen says “Let it be known that I never had my Waffle House this weekend.”

Things you don’t expect to hear while swimming long course meters: At 1800 meters when Jen said “we have 400 meters to go then we are going to Waffle House.”

We don’t get out much:
“You girls not from around here?” waitress at Waffle House asks us.

Nice try: Leslie, asking the waitress at Waffle House to go easy on the butter in the grits and the cook shouts – we can’t make ‘em any other way.

The H in HTFU is not for Health:
Jen asking someone to take a picture of her eating grits when Liz says “someone send that to Bree.”

Number of jars of peanut butter consumed: 1

Most friendly distributor of free fruit: Produce man at Publix, pulls out a knife to cut us a sample of the Jazz apples

Number of bags of M&Ms:
2

Total feet climbed in Paris Mountain run: 2800 feet in 8.9 miles

Total feet climbed on Panther Mountain: 1600 feet in 2 miles

Maximum speed reached on descent: Mary, 45 mph

Minimum speed reached on ascent: Marit, 3.4 mph

Number of chains dropped: 2, Ashley & Matt

Number of gels dropped: 2, Leslie & Liz

Best new way to get rest during group ride: Drop a gel

How to find the four corners of hell: Ascend a hill into the headwind, have a school bus coming at you, have a car back, and a junkyard dog approaching from the right

A fun game to play when you are left behind at the crossing of a major intersection: Bridge the gap

Place where you would not want to find yourself playing bridge the gap: At the four corners of hell

Number of times Marit skipped towards the van: Once before we all said "is she skipping?"

Two words that Marit will be shouting in her sleep for the next month: CAR BACK

Not the best timing: When Marit shouted “car back” while Mary was driving the van

Most likely to have missed a career as a bus driver: Mary driving Big Momma around

Cups of coffee consumed: Too many to count

Most gracious blogger sending gifts from afar: Pedergraham's Vermont care package

Most skilled with an allen wrench: Mary

Number of people it took to assemble Mary’s bike: 1 – Mary

Number of people it took to assemble Liz’s bike: 5 – Leslie, Liz, Mary, Jennifer and the guy at the bike shop

Total purchases made at the bike shop: Easily over $500

Number of George Hincapie false sightings: 1

Number of George Hincapie pictures waiting for Liz in the bedroom: 1 plus an entire photo booklet

Best food meltdown: Jennifer, commanded the white van, driving like mad to find Mary on her run, rolling down the window and pretty much saying you have two choices – get in because we’re going to the grocery store or run for another 45 minutes waiting.

Fruit most frequently eaten: Bananas

Proof that there is a breakfast of champions: Oatmeal

Capable of best downward dog: Mary

Most likely to lean over and cut your chicken: Mary

Most appropriate signage: SOS signs along the road to Panther Mountain

Public place most likely to lead to a date: Publix grocery store

Number of Vemmas consumed: 2 per day per person

Number of times Liz peed green because of it: Everyday

Most sexy in a skirt: Mary

Too close for comfort:
Liz when she says “you know you’re swimming too close to someone when you can see their saddle sores”

Friends don't let friends wear their clothes: Ashley, pointing to Jen & saying "she's been walking around in my tights all weekend without underwear."

Definitely not raised in a barn: Marit, in the parking lot before Saturday's ride asking Liz if there was a bathroom and Liz says "it's behind the barn." Marit goes behind the barn and says "I don't see the bathroom back there."

Best Luke Wilson look-alike: Forest ranger at Paris Mountain

Reply when we suggested AL chase after the Luke Wilson look-alike: "I don't do redneck"

8 comments:

Pedergraham said...

Wonderful! I hope your "staff" is glad to have you home.
-Danielle

Mira Lelovic said...

That was great! Yes, Ness's comment about losing the "H" is hilarious! Glad you all had a great time!

Ashley said...

so - best way to cap off an HTFU weekend: read blogs about it. since we didn't get any weights/core work in... the laughter will suffice. Thanks Liz. You have me in tears (my boss buzzed from his office to ask what was so funny)

Sally said...

Elizabeth - I could read you all day! You're the best! Sally

BreeWee said...

You guys had me laughing all weekend, thanks so much for sharing all the adventures... BUT WHERE are the photos???!!

Anonymous said...

HA! Nice work, Elizabeth! And, I am VERY bruised from my fall from grace ... err....trail yesterday! The pics are on Marit's camera and she is driving home 7+ hours today, so she will post pics hopefully tonight! Jen H.

Train-This said...

Where's the mention of my 30 min late night run?

:-)

Marit Chrislock-Lauterbach said...

This is hilarious! Holy Cow Liz - you should put up a warning. My eyes have teared up and my abs hurt. Thanks - the ONE part of my lower body that didnt hurt... until now.

Had a blast!