Friday, June 11, 2010

Week 34 & Waiting

I am officially done with being pregnant.


Technically I still have 6 weeks to go but for mental health purposes I am calling myself done and allowing myself to become the disgruntled, large, and very uncomfortable pregnant woman.

At this point, you start to get urges. Aside from the very, very, very frequent urge to urinate (didn’t I just go?) or urge to coax the baby out (I know you can hear me in there, I’ll buy you anything you want for the next two years if you just GET OUT already), you get the urge to just start speaking and acting out your mind (which in my case could be a very dangerous thing). I walked into the dog park the other day when I heard this:

Well, there’s no question now, you look very, very pregnant.

Right then, I had the urge to slap the woman and tell her to shut her piehole.

Up until this point, I’ve been good. I’ve put up a good fight. Telling people I FEEL GREAT (extra emphasis on great). Trying to stay positive. And then it turned into summer. Summer is hot. A friend told me that her mother got through pregnancy in the summer by laying in a lounge chair, eating ice chips and scratching her belly. When I heard that, I thought to myself oh my god is that going to be me?

I’ve been thinking that filling my jog bra with some ice chips every time I pass the freezer is the best idea I've had in a long time.

I was feeling GREAT until about a week ago. That would be the point at which every time I went to the bathroom (roughly every 20 minutes), I felt like I might also poop the baby out. Maybe he is starting his descent into my pelvis. Maybe I need to lay off the flax seed. Maybe I literally will be the first woman ever to shit a baby out.

Honestly, I still feel mostly good (as good as you can feel when you’ve added nearly 30 percent of your starting body weight) but I’d just like to be done. I’m getting bored. Books warned me about this. A sense of boredom with the pregnancy. I know that life will get very “un”boring very soon here and I’m not saying I want to be up all night with a small mammal attached to my boob but…you also get this sense of … put me in coach, I’m ready. I can’t wait any more. We have everything we need, everything we don’t need and if I have to go to BuyBuyBaby one more time to look for things I still might need but don’t have I just might go monkey shit in the stroller section.

Tick tock.

I know what you're thinking: hang in there, the end is near. But that’s like telling someone at mile 18 of the Ironman marathon you’re almost there.


No, I’m not. I still have 8 miles to go. Sure I’ve already gone 132 miles but these last 8 miles are going to tick along painfully slow. The same with pregnancy. A brave and honest woman actually told me the other day that the last 4 weeks are the worst. They go by really, really slow.

Thank you for not bullshitting me.

It just occurred to me that somewhere in the next few weeks I will pass the Ironman mark in weight. I have now gained 30 pounds, putting me at … drumroll … 138 pounds. I’m willing to accept bets on when I pass the 140.2 mark.

I’m also willing to eat ice cream until that happens in order to cool my core temperature down.

Someone asked me how I was sleeping. Not at all. I know I’m in bed and the lights are out but I’m not sleeping. I’m just closing my eyes between being awake at 12:41 am, 3:41 am, 4:54 am for no reason at all. Sometimes I have to pee. Sometimes I’m hot. Pretty much that can sum up the way I feel: I’ve got to pee and I’m hot.

You think I’m exaggerating. Just wait…you’ll see.

Exactly 6 weeks from two days ago, on July 28th, Max is due to arrive. I’ve decided that for the sake of just being pregnant and grateful, I will prohibit myself from being miserable (remember, right now I’m just disgruntled) until…July 29th. If he does not make his exit on time, I am allowed to throw myself into full misery and eat nothing but ice cream until he comes.

I’ve heard that many first-time mothers deliver late so I might as well start stocking my freezer now.

I thought maybe I was alone in the way I was feeling. I mean, isn’t every other pregnant woman out there just head over heels giddy about the whole thing and loving life large and walking around in a cute matching maternity ensemble that looks frickin’ amazing with her adorable painted toenails and perfectly styled hair?

The answer is…no.

A very pregnant friend posted something on my Facebook wall today.



I’m still working out. Unless I am chained to my bed, it’s safe to say I will be working out every day until I give birth. At this point, the object in motion will stay in motion. As a pregnant woman, you want to be in motion. Sloth feels like hell. Don’t give in to it. Some days I have freakish energy, perhaps this is nesting, and rather than cleaning out a closet (they’re all clean), I channel that energy into a workout. I’ve been doing two workouts a day through most of pregnancy (as long as your doctor hasn’t restricted your activity, don’t be afraid of the double) and I’m still doing that or making my one workout longer.

I’ve been walking some long walks of 2 hours or so. I find the hilliest course I can and just walk out and back. Oddly, the time passes much quicker walking than it ever did running. I also take a lot of leisurely walks with Chris. I have a crazy theory that if I can walk as much as I used to run in a week, I will transition better back to running.

Though I also sense that my first run back will feel like death.

And as for running, I actually did string together 30 minutes of running the other day as 2 minutes walking, 2 minutes running. I brought Boss along and wish I had a picture of myself (large) running with Boss (very small). He lasted 18 minutes before he laid down and protested. Who knew my 15-minute per mile pace would shut him down.

Biking has been going well. I’m still on the path riding my mountain bike with NO BASKET OR LITTLE DOG thankyouverymuch. I will say that my biggest risk on the path is dogs on retractable leashes. Complete hazard. Almost clotheslined myself with one the other day. Another hazard – small children on bikes. They ride like they’re drunk and chances are they can’t see because their helmet is covering their eyes. Approach with caution.

I’ve been swimming more because it’s open water season! I used the wetsuit once but didn’t so much enjoy it. It is possible to be too buoyant. When I found myself swimming along and kicking on top of the water in air, I knew that next time I would not be wearing a wetsuit.

Strength training continues, too. Bosu, TRX, weights. Lots of glute strength, pelvic exercises and of course – arms. All I want is to maintain some semblance of definition in my arms since everything else seems to have been swallowed up by baby fat and water retention.

Wait, can you retain water in your arms?

I’d like to think my belly is so big because I’m retaining water in there. But I think I’m just retaining baby. Here is the latest belly shot.

Trust me, I’m as tired of hauling that belly around as you are of looking at it. The belly has literally exploded in baby. By now, the books say that Max is 5 pounds and 18 inches long. 5 pounds. I look around my house for other things that weigh 5 pounds and find a bag of unopened whole wheat flour.

That entire bag is in my belly, I think to myself. Along with 2 extra pounds of blood, 2 pounds of boob, 1.5 pounds of womb, 7 pounds of fat, 1.5 pounds of placenta, 2 pounds of amniotic fluid and 4 pounds of retained water.

I’d like to argue that last value as grossly underestimated.

Someone shout it at me, you're almost there! Clap a little for me and ring a cowbell, please? I know it's a short way to go but it feels like eternity. I looked at my belly tonight and thought - really, how much bigger CAN it get?

(enter the thoughts of over a dozen once pregnant women who are reading this and thinking sister you haven't seen big yet)

Like a pregnant friend said, I can do anything for 6 weeks. No, really, I can. Waiting these next 6 weeks can’t be any worse than finding yourself at mile 80 of a 112 mile ride riding into a 20 mph headwind, watching your baggie of salt tabs take flight out of your hand, breaking up with your bike seat and shortly thereafter getting stung by a bee in your helmet. Sooner than later, I'll be crossing the transition mat and starting the run.

Which will last for the next 18 years of my life!

I'm gonna need more cowbell.


Pam said...

Hang in there!

cherelli said...

Ah, freakin' hilarious (um, not your pregnant state of course, no that is not funny, just your ability to express your pregnant state)..."You're almost there!!" (cowbell rings)...

MissAllycat said...

I want you to make a flip book of these belly pictures...Expand-o-ELF! Watch her grow! ;)

Looking forward to the belly pic in four more weeks! :)

Jenna said...

LOL... I love your posts. One thing, that run you are starting soon - it doesn't go for 18 years - it goes forever. FOR.EVER. Up and downs and super fab times and giggles galore!! It can be a hard run but it is worth everything to have the chance to cross the mat and begin it!

LZ said...

I am due July 17th and I feel you...except that the heat down here in NC is ridiculous. I have taken to eating large amounts of ice cream at all times of the day. On the positive side, even though first time mothers tend to deliver later, if you are exercising (3x per week of 20min moderate weight bearing exercise) up to delivery, you tend to deliver on average 10 days early. That is my motivation every time I go out for my walk/run. Best wishes to staying cool these last 6 weeks!

Beth said...


Mary IronMatron said...

One of my closest friends loved being pregnant. Interestingly, we were pregnant three times--at the same time for each. She would say things in the last weeks like, "Oh, aren't you said it's almost over? I just love feeling the baby move."
I really had to restrain myself from getting a gun.
You look great, btw. And I pretty much worship you for how fit you've kept during the whole thing. At this point with each pregnancy I had thrown in the towel and had surrendered to feeling like totally fat, out-of-shape blob.

Karen said...

Huh-larious! Cowbell!!!!!!!

Melissa said...

I'm officially done too.

Ange said...

I'm friends with that friend Mary is referring to also....and oh man.. she did LOVE it! I started out loving it and then....NOT so much!!! But , again as Mary said, your devotion to staying fit is Amazing and you know, makes me want to get pregnant again so I can do that too!!! (I'm 40 and have 3 boys, so um, no...)
I think weighing 140.2 lbs would be rather cool... :o)
It will get long now...but then'll barely remember these days.

TriGirl Kate O said...

So just before I got to your last sentence, I was going to write "NEED MORE COWBELL!" for my comment, but well, there you go. I've got a pink one upstairs, see if you can hear it all the way from Richmond...

Angela and David Kidd said...

Ahhh, I was so done at 34 weeks and I was trying to smoke Zach out at 36 weeks. Seemed the harder I tried to get him out the more determined he was to stay put.

Your first run likely won't suck (just don't wear a Garmin). Mine was fantastic! I ran as hard and as fast for as long as I could until I thought my heart would explode. It was such an awesome feeling to know that only I was feeling the pain. I no longer had to worry about hurting the baby. I was probably pathetically slow but it felt so good.

Erin Chernick said...

I am one week behind you and over it:)...and I started at 138 lbs!

Was in the doctors office the other week for the check-up and saw a non-pregnant looking women grinning ear to ear leave and heard the "congratulations" and all I could think was "at least I am not at 8 weeks anymore" well as "just wait..give it 20 more weeks and lets see how much you are smiling"

I have also realized it is possible to go backwards in a pool while kicking forwards....don't ask...

Yes, the "almost there" seems so much more painful than encouraging; but, eventually we will forget it (that is why women have more than one child, right?)

So, from one pregnant woman/athlete to another, I understand you and can relate...or is that commiserate??:)

Love reading your blog! keep the posts coming

Helen said...

I'm a July baby and my brother was born in mid-September, in Virginia. My mother bought a kiddie pool and set it up on the deck so she could stay cool/ keep the swelling down. It is still her best advice for women who are pregnant in summer.

Sara Cox Landolt said...

Oh boy... the waiting and dealing with it all. I think it helps to have 2-3 back-up "go to" plans for the extreme crazy moments during the final weeks, days, minutes...

Beautiful belly shot! Seriously!
Hang in there & listen for the cowbell.

Alili said...

I hope that the time passes quickly and that Max arrives on time for your mental health. Being late completely sucks...enough said.

You are so darn cute (I know you won't believe me, but you are!).

Alicia said...

What no one tells you is that the baby grows more in the last two to three weeks of pregnancy than any time up to that point. Be prepared... just when you think you won't get any bigger, well, you do. The kiddie pool idea is a great one. And lemme tell you, the day the water all of a sudden leaves and you get your ankles back... it's a beautiful day.

X-Country2 said...

I loved this post. I'm 31 weeks pregnant with twins and entering the 6 week home stretch too. My stomach is giant, and I'm soooo over hauling it around. I'm not exactly ready to have the babies here, but I'm ready to have my body back to normal NOW.

Good luck to us both in the home stretch!

Alicia Parr said...

There's lots of Oh-So-True stuff in this post. Really a trip down memory lane of sorts. Only thing I take issue with is about the first run. It won't suck like you think it will. You won't set any landspeed records, but it will feel like beautiful release to be able to run without carrying around another human inside you.

Katie said...

Personally I think you should throw some kind of party when you hit 140.6 pounds. The Ironman of Weight Gain or something.

Would it help you, competitive as you are, to think that this 6 weeks plus the 6 weeks after that will probably be the toughest? You're starting the really tough part... waiting and feeling huge, then labor and delivery (which is also awesome, right afterwards), then sleeplessness and possibly fussiness. (They say the 1st 6 wks of baby's life are hardest - I found this true. It got better after that.)

I hope this doesn't just discourage you - hopefully it will make you want to focus, fight and have a goal for coming out the other side... You will get through it. It will be really tough, but you are tougher. You already know that. Focus on mid-September. Right when all the Kona people are stepping it up, your life will be getting happier.

If focusing on that doesn't help... ignore me and just make your ice cream flavor a good chunky one with chocolate and pb in it.

Also, I agree that first run is awesome.