Just as soon as I can remember where I left it!
Oh that’s right, I left it about 33 pounds ago! Somewhere in the past week I surpassed the 140.6 pound mark and jumped straight to 144. Welcome to pregnancy. I gained 5 pounds in one week. A few hours later I had lost 2 and then next day I was down another pound. At this point, I weigh myself more for comic relief than anything else.
I am less than 20 pounds away from weighing as much as you, I said to Chris the other day.
And he is 8 inches taller than me!
The scary part? I am almost 50 pounds away from being 200 pounds. Give me another 9 months and I’ll show what 200 looks like on a 5’2” frame.
Foreshadowing: it will not be a good look.
Yes, I’m still pregnant. It’s been what – over a year now? Sure feels like it. The other day Chris admitted that he feels like I’ve been this way forever.
I had a dream that you were back to your normal self.
A dream. Lovely.
I can’t imagine your belly getting any bigger.
You and me both! But every time I look down I notice just a little bit more of my feet disappearing.
Honestly, though, I have the world’s best husband. He won’t let me do a thing (including grocery shopping, carrying my swim bag, walking the dog) and keeps telling me how beautiful I look. But if he says it one more time I’m going to have to send him to a methadone clinic.
To help him PUT THE CRACK PIPE DOWN!
The doctor called the other day with good news. I don’t have Group B strep. That’s one of those things they test you for in late pregnancy. I won’t spoil the fun or scare Keith away by telling you where they take the cultures for that test. Consider it your 36-week surprise.
I think I also lost the mucous plug. You think that’s a fictional thing, it’s not. I’d tell you to Google Image search it but I’ll also warn you to not do so while eating. I know it’s sort of a private thing to reveal to the world but the news is already out because my husband told the masters team at Saturday morning practice.
No, really, he did.
Anyways, like anything else in pregnancy, it could mean something or could mean nothing. Could mean that I’m giving birth in 1 to 2 weeks or not. There are no sure things in pregnancy other than that fact that you will end up with a baby. Eventually.
I’m completing my 37th week on Wednesday and I keep telling myself I can do anything for 21 days. Really, I can. I can….not sleep, go through a roll of toilet paper every 2 days all by myself (if you're pregnant, one word: COSTCO), waddle at 19-minutes per mile and find myself sweating inside when the house is at 75 degrees.
Pregnant women simply cannot live in habitats above 70.
I’d also like to offer this public service announcement. I have found the one place a pregnant woman should never go. Not a bar. Not a sauna. Not even into a cupcake shop. I’m talking about the local summer festival. Every town has one of these where it costs you 8 bucks to get in, another 8 bucks to buy an ear of sweet corn and 4 bucks for a bottle of water. Throw in some tickets for the Tilt a Whirl and a bag of cotton candy and you’re close to broke. But be warned: pregnancy, watching your husband drink beer in a plastic cup and carnies do not mix. Especially when it’s 85 degrees in full sun. At one point, Chris looked over at me and said you look miserable. Funny, BECAUSE I AM. I almost shit myself (not hard at this point) when the woman at the entrance asked Chris and I if we would both be drinking tonight. Of course I’m drinking! Along with the rest of the hillbillies that showed up here tonight to see LeAnn Rimes on the mainstage.
I’m still working out. I’ve significantly slowed down but I still have the energy to move. I’ve been swimming mostly at the quarry in the long course meter lanes. Or I’ll go walk around the lake at the Arboretum for 90 minutes. That would be 9 times around the lake or 3 x 3 times with 1 potty break after every 3. See, I still do intervals. I also ride my mountain bike for up to 90 minutes. And continue to strength train twice a week.
A lot of people have told me to slow down and put my feet up now. Thanks, but no thanks. I’ve never felt that sitting on a couch and putting your feet up is a cure for anything. Except maybe a broken foot. But be warned, in pregnancy, people tell you stuff like this all the time. In fact, I’ve heard more about what I should NOT do in the past 9 months than what I should do. Most of what I shouldn’t do involves any sort of activity. If you’re not careful, you can find yourself believing it and laying on a couch. 60 pounds later….trust me, even with your feet up, YOU WILL NOT FEEL GOOD!
Right now when I workout, I am barely moving forward but my legs are moving, the blood is circulating and I feel good. Relatively speaking. And feeling good doesn't come easily these days. Sleep has completely betrayed me with no position comfortable, every chair hurts and standing still make my legs swell. I feel good when I move. I feel lousy when I sit and put my feet up.
Tell me again why that would be good for me?
All along I’ve trusted my gut about what to do and what not to do. When you first find yourself pregnant, it’s common to ask a million questions, read books, wonder incessantly about what you should do. It doesn’t help that everyone tells you to sit still. Well, I read the books, asked some questions and then – I listened to myself. Your intuition is a very powerful thing. No one can tell you what feels right, wrong, too hard or bad. Except maybe your doctor and common sense. But only you really know. Trust yourself. You'll know what to do.
In the past few workouts, I’ve been reflecting on being pregnant. I realize that every time out there might be my last time for a few weeks. I’m going so slow right now that I see my workouts as a cool down to the past 9 months. I think back to how the seasons have changed, how I have changed. I felt major changes at week 14 (I can stay awake again!), week 23 (I can feel baby kicking!), week 24 (oh crap I actually have to wear maternity pants), week 28 (now I really look pregnant), week 32 (I’m huge) and week 36 (I’d like to be done, NOW). In that time, it’s been almost a year of living, waiting, growing.
On Saturday, Chris and I were sitting in the park when I said that it might be our last Saturday as just a couple, enjoying bagels, coffee, the French market. Like everyone has been saying all along: life will change.
Yes, life will change...not in the scare tactic way that some people say it but in the your life will change for the better, you’ll see the world differently. Life has been changing for the past 37 weeks. In a good way. You gain some maturity and perspective. Those are always good things. Now we’re just waiting for him to show up so we can begin the even bigger change. We’re not scared. We’ve been waiting for this. I’m not sure if that’s being overly optimistic or just confident that we can do this.
Isn’t that the same thing that gets you across any finish line in life?
Counting down, actually cooling down....21 days in July. Which reminds me - it seems that during our legal acquisition of cable, we lost Versus. It's been so long since I've watched television, I had no idea this happened until I went to watch Stage 2. I'm not sure what is more devastating - having to survive another 21 days pregnant in this heat or not being able to watch the Tour de France or pro-bull riding. Help!